Admission
by vrangr
Summary: A 4-chapter look into how things were with the Pevensie family shortly before the crash, during, and after. sibling angst Susan is admitted into Narnia in 'her own way' as Lewis mentioned.
1. It Cuts Like a Knife

**Disclaimer: C.S. Lewis **_**(*salute*)**_

**A/N:** Ok, I'd just like to forewarn you that I will not write _exactly_ how Susan gets into Aslan's Country, but in the last chapter I _will _verify that she does. You'll see what I mean if you stick with me. : This is just a little something I needed to get out of my system :D

Chapter title came from Josh Groban's song _She's Out of My Life._ I used it as a title for this chapter because Susan's denial of Narnia hurts and wounds her siblings so much. Read on to find out *nods*

**Chapter 1: It Cuts Like a Knife**

*******

Edmund leaned back in his seat, flipping the pages of his book on chemistry. He, Susan and Lucy had decided to stay home while Peter and Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie went out to run some house errands. However, Edmund knew Susan wouldn't stay long. She planned the night out, and mum and dad just let her. What they didn't know was how much of it was really hurting the other Pevensie siblings.

"_Dad, does Susan _have_ to go out that much?" Edmund asked his father one night in the den, seating himself on a chair in front of his father's couch._

"_Well, Edmund," Mr. Pevensie smiled understandingly and joked, "You're going to have to lend your sister to her friends too, you know. She's growing up."_

"_Yes, but-" Edmund cut himself off, unknowing of how to explain things to his father. Susan had changed. She was no longer Queen Susan the Gentle. Now, she was just Susan._

_Edmund suddenly stood up._

"_Ed, m'boy?"_

_Edmund looked back at his father, his dark eyes overwhelmed with sadness._

"_Is something wrong? Did you and your sister quarrel?" Mr. Pevensie's face creased with concern._

"_No, dad," the son smiled reassuringly, "I'm fine."_

_But that night, while he was alone in his room, Edmund hugged his pillow tightly, imagining how Susan would have done the same when he was just a little boy. Then, he, King Edmund the Just, did the only _logical_ thing. He threw himself on the bed and wept bitterly._

Edmund sighed and shut his book. It was hopeless. What was the use of studying if his brain just wouldn't take it in. At that moment, a loud sob came from outside in the hallway and light footsteps came running towards the study. Edmund furrowed his brow worriedly and Lucy bounded inside, tears streaming down her round cheeks, her eyes red from the effort.

"Lucy!" Edmund exclaimed, shocked.

Lucy sobbed again and cannoned into her brother's open arms, crying and crying into his chest.

Edmund looked up to see Susan in the doorway, her hair made, her face made, her clothes made. She was a doll. A doll _made_ out of stunning beauty outside, but Edmund wasn't so sure anymore about the inside.

"What happened?" he asked slowly, his deep voice asking—_commanding_ Susan to tell the obvious truth.

Susan sighed and rolled her eyes, "She's seventeen, when is she going to grow up?"

"Susan!" Edmund said loudly, "What in the Lion's Mane is that supposed to mean?"

Susan raised her eyebrows, "_Lion's Mane? _Where did you get that, Ed? Surely not one of your Shakespearean plays."

Lucy let out a muffled scream into her brother's chest and hugged him all the more tightly. Edmund looked helplessly at Susan, his heart wrenching with the evident pain the Lucy could obviously no longer take. He planted a firm kiss on Lucy's head, "Stay here, Lu," he whispered gently.

Lucy reluctantly let him go and Edmund strode to Susan. His older sister walked ahead out on the hallway and into the next room, the family library.

"Susan, what is the matter with you?" Edmund asked defeated, although he knew very well what the answer would be. He followed his sister and closed the door behind him.

Susan huffed, "Edmund, we are no longer children. You're _nineteen_ for crying out loud!"

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Edmund snapped, "Why can't you just admit to the truth?"  
"What truth?" Susan yelled, "That I am _Queen Susan the Gentle of the Radiant Southern Sun?"_

Edmund bit his lip, swallowing the sob that threatened to escape, "Su," he said slowly, "You know who you are. How could you forget?"

Susan closed her eyes and mentally counted to ten.

"Susan, how could you?" Edmund asked again.

"I know absolutely _nothing_ of what you're talking about, Edmund Pevensie.

"Oh really?" came the retort, "How can you _do this?"_ Edmund gestured to the door, referring to a devastated Lucy waiting outside, "How could you have forgotten twenty-four years of glorious reign?"

Susan cursed under breath, but Edmund went on, "How could you forget the Beavers, Mr. Tumnus—" Edmund blurted the last part out, "Caspian?"

Susan froze at the name and her eyes widened. She masked it as quickly as possible, but Edmund couldn't help but let a victorious smile creep slowly on his lips.

"I don't know any _beavers,_ I don't know any _Tumnus,_ and I sure as anything don't know any _Caspian!"_

Edmund had had it, and for that he freely allowed his dark eyes to fill with tears, "Susan, Aslan's waiting for you."

Susan stared at her brother, muted by his words. _Aslan,_ she thought and then she heard a loud and thundering roar in her ears. A roar overflowing with power, a roar running rich with truth, a roar from a great beast; a lion. _The Lion._

"Susan!"

Edmund's voice strangely drowned the roar as Susan collapsed to the floor, cowering in fear. Her brother ran to her and took her in his arms, "Su? Su, what's wrong?"  
Susan stared at her brother coldly, "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice rose with her every word, "How dare you!"

"What?" Edmund's nose wrinkled in confusion.

"Get away from me!" Susan screamed and pushed her brother as she scrambled to her feet, "I don't want anything to do with _Narnia,_ or Aslan, or what-have-you, Edmund. Just _leave me alone!"_

Edmund clenched his fist. He refused to sink to her level by raising his voice. Instead, as calmly as he could, he said, "You know they won't leave you, Su," he said, "_You _were the one who let them _in,_ in the first place."

Susan set her jaw and said steadily, "You are so childish, Edmund," she whispered, "Nineteen years of age, and you still insist upon games we used to play."  
"Well, maybe it's because they _aren't_ games, Susan," Edmund said, longing to embrace his sister, hoping that would make her remember. Why couldn't she remember? Why did she just push the memories away?

Susan stood in silence, unable to respond and Edmund paced away from her, running his hands in his hair, "Look, Su," he said, "I don't know how much longer we can keep arguing, alright?"

Susan raised her chin, "Well, don't think I'm making it Pax just yet, Edmund Pevensie."

Edmund shook his head and turned to face his sister, startling her with the tears running freely down his boyish face, "I won't force you," he said softly and walked to his sister, kissing her on the forehead, "But I'll always love you."

Susan bit her lip, her chin quivering.

Edmund had now walked out the door and closed it behind him, calling out Lucy's name. Susan stopped biting her lip and at once, a sob let itself out. Her own tears ran down her cheeks, ruining the mascara from her eyes, mixing with the blush-on and rouge she had applied, showing off the Susan underneath the mask.

Susan sobbed even more and hugged herself tightly, just as she used to do when Edmund was just a little boy, or when Lucy was just a little girl, or when Peter was just the same. Susan missed that. She used to hug her siblings every night before, but ever since she had insisted to forget, she stopped.

_I try, Edmund,_ she thought, her heart tearing apart with the numerous wounds already inflicted upon it. _But sometimes, it's much easier to forget._ Susan knelt on the floor and left herself to her sorrows, unconsciously praying: _Aslan, help me._

*******


	2. Muffy

**A/N:** We all met 'Muffy' in LWW (ok, Muffy is just a name I made up, ok?) but anyway, you'll see what I mean.

And, by the way, I mentioned previously that this would be a three-chappie fic. I stand corrected :D It will be four. So this chapter is short—but before you say anything, please allow me to tell you that the third is all ready so I'll be finalizing and posting it in less than a week : That's a promise.

**Chapter 2: Muffy**

*******

Edmund walked out of the study room, worry presently taking over him. _Lucy, where are you?_ he thought and crossed the hall to the bedrooms. Lucy's door was slightly ajar and soft sniffles were coming from inside. Edmund jogged over, his shoes making taps on the wooden flooring, "Lu?" he called again and found his little sister sitting on the bed and hugging her stuffed puppy, the same toy she took with her when she was eight years old and the Pevensies had to evacuate London.

Edmund sighed and walked over, "May I sit with you?"

Lucy nodded. Edmund seated himself aside her and pulled her into an embrace. Lucy cried silently, "Why did she forget, Edmund?" she asked.

Edmund smiled sadly. Lucy never lost the child in her that always asked questions.

"Remember what Mrs. Beaver said, a long time ago?"

Lucy pulled away and looked up at her brother, "What was that?"  
"She said, 'There's always hope.'" Edmund smiled reassuringly, "And with Aslan, there's a lot _more_ than hope."

The siblings smiled at each other, recalling the words the Beavers had told them when they first found themselves in Narnia. Frozen, cold, snowy Narnia.

"Then, that means Susan will still remember, right?"

"That's right, Lucy," Edmund replied and looked down at his hands, heaving a breath. Lucy looked at him carefully, "Edmund," she said, "You're so strong."

Edmund smirked, "What do you mean?"

"I hardly see you cry. In fact, I don't remember seeing you cry since you were fifteen."

Edmund froze and looked away. _Oh, Lucy,_ he thought, _If you only knew._

"But, you know," Lucy smiled comfortingly and handed her brother the toy puppy, "Muffy says it's perfectly fine to cry, even when you're not alone."

Edmund tried to let out a laugh, when instead he let out a coughing sob. He took the puppy and held it in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks, "You're the best, Lu."

Lucy threw her arms around her brother and began to hum softly. Edmund recognized it to be a Narnian Lullaby.

*******

**A/N:** I am aware this took a while, but I promise the next one will be up soon :D And if any of you are reading BT: Curse on the Crown, I'm planning to have that up too. Basically I'm experiencing some Internet failure right now so I can't stay on the computer too long. Sorry, guys!


	3. Family or Friends

**A/N:** Zis is it, my friendssss. Ze train crasszzzhh!!

**Chapter 3: Family or Friends**

***

"Come on, Susan!" Peter laughed as Edmund chased him down the hall to their sister's bedroom, "We have to catch the train. They'll be there in half an hour!"

Edmund shouted, "Oi, Pete! You're forgetting about something!"

Edmund meant that Peter should do something about the flour he threw on his face. The poor younger brother looked like a ghost. He was finishing off the biscuits he was baking for dessert tonight but Peter had to come in and have some fun with the flour.

Peter laughed cruelly back, "Really? Refresh my memory."

Edmund spat and smiled. Peter had to laugh again, doubling over at the hilarity. (When you think about it, it's not so hard to put yourself in Peter's shoes. Just imagine, dark haired and dark eyed Edmund with his already pale face covered in white flour and smiling, showing off his teeth.)

Susan walked out of the room and stared at her brothers: Peter laughing his head off and leaning against the wall for support, and Edmund looking very much dumb. She smiled knowingly and ushered Edmund to come in, "Come, we can dampen a towel and clean you up."

Edmund followed and Peter did as soon as he recovered from his previous 'condition.'

"So, are you coming, Su?" Peter asked. Susan went inside the bathroom while her brothers waited out. They heard the sound of running water before their sister came out again holding a damp towel in her hand, "No."

Edmund and Peter stood stunned.

"Why ever not?" Peter asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Susan rolled her eyes as she helped wiped flour off of a spitting Edmund's face, "Because, Peter, I have to meet the girls."

Peter threw up his hands, "The girls?" he said exasperated, "You'd much rather meet your friends than your own family?"

"And what are you getting at, Peter?" Susan snapped, dropping her hands with the towel still clenched in her fist. Edmund began drying his face on his sleeve.

"Ed, you know better than that!" Susan retorted. Edmund jumped and stared at his sister, "What's wrong with wiping my face on my sleeve?"

Susan rolled her eyes again, "Anyway, Peter, I'll meet you here for dinner. It's not like I'll never see my family again, right?"

Peter set his jaw, "Susan, you knew they were coming today. The least you can do is meet them. Just apologize to your friends that you were late because you had to meet with them."

Susan huffed, "Peter, _honestly._ Aren't you through with telling me what to do?"

Edmund furrowed his brow, "Why should you have a problem with that?"

Susan glared at him, "Why shouldn't I?"

"You didn't have a problem when he was _High_ King!" Edmund blurted out.

Susan placed her hands on her hips and held her younger brother's gaze, saying nothing. Edmund stared challengingly back.

"Come on," Peter said quietly as he ushered his brother out the door.

---

Edmund walked down the street aside Peter. It was a rather wet afternoon and it drizzled just a bit. Peter cautiously glanced at his brother, "Ed?" he asked, mist forming from his mouth as he spoke, "Are you all right?"

Edmund smirked bitterly, "Excellent."

The brothers parted ways to give space to a man rushing towards them. Peter said after, "You're worried, aren't you?"

Edmund nodded, looking down at the ground when he felt Peter pull him into a one-armed hug, "Everything will be all right, Ed. You'll see."

The younger brother smiled, "Once a king or queen of Narnia-"

"-always a king or queen," Peter smiled back, "There's still hope, Ed."

Edmund squared his shoulders and heaved a sigh. There was still hope. Maybe he'd talk to Susan again tonight and try to make things Pax between them.

---

"Train to Bristol coming in five minutes!"

The speakers went off the second time. Edmund glanced at his watch, breathing mist as he spoke, "Five minutes, Pete," he smiled excitedly, "They're coming in five minutes."

Peter smiled and ruffled his brother's hair, "So they are. And I wonder how Eustace is doing. Haven't seen him in a while."

Edmund grinned, proud for his cousin. He scuffed the toe of his shoe on the tiles of the station platform, "I'm worried about the taste of those biscuits."

"Which ones?" Peter asked playfully.

"What are you talking about?"  
"Well, when _you_ make biscuits, Ed, it's either you bake or you burn."

Edmund punched his brother in the arm, "You'll eat your words when you eat my biscuits!" he teased.

"I see someone's confident," Peter laughed, "I suppose I can't wait."

Edmund smiled and looked down the rails on either side.

"So, Ed," Peter said, attempting to pass the rest of the five minutes by, "How's that sore knee of yours?"  
"Coming along well," Edmund replied, "Not as bad as yesterday, at least."

"That's good," Peter nodded and then the brothers heard the sounds of the engines of a train coming in. Peter grinned, "Here they come!"

Edmund smiled but as soon as the slightest sight of the black train came to view, Peter's grin froze on his face and he stared wildly at Edmund.

Things strangely then moved slower and Peter opened his mouth and yelled something, but what Edmund heard wasn't Peter's voice. It was a Lion's roar, and a deep voice saying, _Welcome Home._

Edmund felt a great jolt and he shut his eyes.

A flash of Gold.

Everything went black.

*******

**A/N:** Next, and last, chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading!


	4. Coming Home

**A/N:** I'll admit, I'm not the best angst writer in town, so bear with me if this isn't so good :D (*bows*)

**Chapter 4: Coming Home**

***

Susan walked weakly into her home and closed the door. Tears streamed down her face and she made her way into the kitchen. Suddenly, everything seemed quiet, muffled, ruined. Dead. Just like her family.

_Susan laughed gaily as her friends sat around her at a simple café, sharing jokes and stories and so much more of such drollery._

"_Oh, Susan, dear," Rose said and tapped her friend on her shoulder. Susan looked up and smiled, "Ah, yes?"_

"_My younger sister is dreadfully eager to meet your older brother, you know."  
Susan's smile froze on her face, recalling the argument of 'friends and family' she had with Peter earlier that afternoon. She quickly masked it over, however and grinned, "Don't you worry, she can meet him soon," she teased, "I can talk him into anything."_

_The girls giggled when the radio that had been left on for bland entertainment rattled with an urgent sounding commentator's voice, "Earlier today at the West Train Station, there was a collision of trains that took place at around 13:04. One was arriving for a stop, while the other just for a drop-off to continue on to the next station. Officials cannot say what caused this horrific accident."_

_Susan's eyes widened and she stared at the radio, her friends apparently also paying close attention. The speakers went on, "Casualties are large in number and survivors are still being scouted for. The wreck took lives from both trains and also on the platform-"_

_Susan suddenly felt cold. _Very_ cold, and her heart wrenched painfully in her chest. She didn't need to know who or what the casualties were. Deep down, she already understood. She wouldn't be having dinner tonight with her family after all. _

_She'd planning her farewell speeches._

Susan's face crumpled and a sob escaped her lips. She went to the oven and saw the biscuits Edmund baked for dessert were still inside, waiting for the hungry mouths that will eat them.

_Susan sat on the couch downstairs, her brow furrowed over a math sheet. _Twenty-seven times thirty-five equals…_Susan unconsciously stuck out her tongue. This wasn't her lesson in school. It wasn't even for her level, but Susan just couldn't stand Peter being 'smarter' than she was. If only she could figure out what twenty-seven times thirty-five equaled to._

Creak.

_Susan shot her head up suspiciously and looked out the door onto the dark hallway. Someone was going down the stairs. Quietly, she made her way to the door and peeked outside to find her seven-year-old Edmund's silhouette tiptoeing to the kitchens. Susan smiled and shook her head, "Where do you think you're going?"_

_Susan knew the answer though. Earlier that morning, mum was baking Edmund's favorite chocolate chip cookies. Edmund had had enough for a day, and mum had specifically instructed Peter, and Susan not to go around tempting their brother into any more, or offering him any more. They were also not to give in to his adorable pouts. _  
Susan smiled, despite her tears, imagining a chubby, pink-faced Eddy standing in front of her with his hands clasped behind him.

_He stared up at his sister, his sweet dark eyes conveying one message, 'Just one cookie, Susie. Pleeeeeease?' _

_Susan shook her head and smiled, "I'm sorry, Ed, but mummy says you might get a tooth ache if you eat any more."_

"_I promise I'll brush my teeth again, Susan. Please, Susan, pleeeeease?"_

_Susan stared into her brother's hazel regard, "Oh, I don't know," she said with mock hesitance. Edmund ran to her and hugged her waist tightly, his gaze never leaving his sister's face, "Oh, please, Susie?" he pouted, his cheeks becoming all the chubbier. Susan laughed and kissed his hair, "Oh, all right, but just one."_

_Edmund beamed._

An image of Edmund at twelve suddenly flashed into her mind. He wore a silver crown on his head, the richest clothes of gray and pearl whites. He wore a regal smile on his face, his dark eyes not only sweet, but also sure and wise. He looked like a true k—No. Susan sobbed.

They were all gone.

Edmund was dead. Susan will never see his smile again.

"_Suuuuusaaaaan!!" _

_Susan nearly dropped her English book as a fourteen-year-old Peter burst through the study room, a wide grin pasted on his face, his blue eyes bright and naughty…about something._

"_Su, you won't believe what I've managed to do. I'm quite pleased with myself. Revenge is terribly sweet!"_

_Susan rolled her eyes and smiled, "What is it _this_ time, Peter?"_

_Peter sniggered and ran out of the room again. Susan waited until he entered, this time with Edmund. Edmund? Susan's eyes became the size of cricket balls. She had two sisters now? Edmund was wearing her old party dress, and was looking very annoyed. Susan struggled to keep a straight face, "Oh, Edmund," she said, "Purple is delightful on you."_

"_Oh, shut up." _

_With that, Susan fell in fits of laughter, really dropping her English book. Peter joined her, "That ought to teach you not to try anything bad with me, Ed," he said, flipping up his brother's skirt. _

"_Oi!" Edmund yelled, turning a beet red. Susan laughed hysterically, wiping the tears from her face. That _did_ teach Edmund. It taught him not to mess with the High—_Susan choked. She couldn't.

Peter was dead. Susan will never see his happy blue eyes ever again.

"_Mummy, Daddy, can we _please_ open our presents now?" little eight-year-old Lucy trotted up to her parents who were seated contentedly on the sofa. Peter and Edmund were patiently waiting the morning away, lying on the carpet by the tree and trying to rid off the last signs of sleep from their eyes. Christmas Eve lasted longer than expected last night. "Not yet, darling," Helen Pevensie smiled as she kissed her daughter's forehead, "Why don't you call your sister, and then we can open your presents."_

_Lucy beamed and quickly ran back, tripping over Edmund's sprawled body, "Ugmph! Lu!"_

"_Sorry, Ed!" Lucy scrambled up and quickly placed a kiss on her brother's cheek._

_When Lucy arrived at the stop of the stairs, you could imagine the astonishment when she saw a silver ribbon running down the hallway. Lucy furrowed her brow and her imaginative mind quickly recalled a tale Susan always told her every night before going to bed. It was about a fairy who had a magic silver ribbon that she would use to lead her fairy friends to their secret glen in the forest. Lucy gasped delightfully and found the ribbon leading to her sister's room. The little girl quickly ran, her feet patting slightly on the floor. She pushed open the door and peeked in. _

"_Susie?" Lucy called out in her small voice. Her sister wasn't in bed. In fact, the bed was all made up. Lucy craned her neck to look over the toy chest at the foot of the bed and saw a big red box tied in the same long silver ribbon that extended from outside. Lucy walked over to the box. Were there fairies inside? As the youngest Pevensie neared the box, she made out a tag taped to the ribbon. It said: _Especially forLucy Pevensie from her fairy friends._ Lucy gasped and slowly pulled the ribbon off of the box, treating it like a real treasure. She opened the lid and found a stuffed puppy looking up at her. Lucy squealed in delight and cradled the puppy delicately in her arms. _

"_Do you like it, Lucy?"_

_Lucy spun around and found her sister in her faded green dressing gown standing by the doorway, a gentle smile on her face. Lucy nodded eagerly, "Are you my fairy, Susan?"_

_Susan laughed and grinned, "We are fairies of each other, Lu." Lucy ran to her sister and both girls hugged each other tightly, the puppy toy in the middle of the embrace._

Lucy was dead. Susan will never be able to hug Muffy together with her again.

Dead. Gone. And she was left alone. She, Susan Pevensie was left to be haunted by the bittersweet memories that will be just that. Memories.

Dark remnants of that afternoon rushed back into her mind, taunting her until sobs escaped her lips with no chance of being silenced. _"It's not like I'll never see them again, right?" _

"_Susan, you knew they were coming today. The least you can do is meet them. Just apologize to your friends that you were late because you had to meet with them."_

Susan did the one thing she never thought she would do. She fell on her knees, raised her head up and screamed as loud as she could, "ASLAN!" and wept. She cried and cried so long as she still had tears to shed. She gripped at herself, wishing she had her siblings to hold her close. Wishing she had Peter's warm embrace. Wishing she had Edmund's soothing voice. Wishing she had Lucy's sweet lullabies.

But, no. They weren't there anymore, and they never will for as long as she lived.

_I'll always love you._

Susan froze, recognizing Edmund's whisper of a voice. She whipped her head around, feeling as if she were going mad. The voice never returned, and Susan clamped her hands over her ears. She released her anguish, that bitter feeling in her heart through the screams she voiced and the tears she shed. After a moment of sense she managed to find in her head, she whispered, "Why did you leave me?"

_I never left you, Susan._

Susan looked up and kept silent. The Voice. It was deep, rumbling, and ever so comforting. It embraced her, blanketed her, held her in a warmth Susan only knew after everything in that Magical Land. The Land that was not the 'game' she insisted upon. The Land that was not the dream her siblings just made up. It was the real Land. It was the loving Land. It was _Narnia._

"Aslan?" Susan whimpered.

_Once a king or queen of Narnia, _always_ a king or queen,_ the Voice said firmly. Susan swallowed and closed her eyes. The Voice spoke on.

_You have lost your faith in Me, my daughter. You doubted Me and turned away. Why?_

Susan bit her lip in painful shame. She shook her head, her voice growing even smaller, "I…I thought you left me. When you said I could never return to Narnia, I just…I couldn't accept it." Susan felt her eyes sting.

_My daughter,_ said the voice, _I have laid down a path for you long before you were even born. When you came to Narnia, you already knew your destiny._

"Aslan, I beg your forgiveness," Susan cried.

_You are forgiven, my beloved._

Silence.

_Now, tell me, my child. Are you willing to return to the path I have chosen for you?_

Susan's eyes lit up and she looked down at her hands. They were shivering, "Yes, Aslan."

_To return to Me, you will have to accept any test I bestow upon you._

"Anything, Aslan, for that is what I owe you," Susan said shakily, but bravely.

_Said like a true Queen, _said the Voice, love and warmth ran richly in His words, _Therefore, hear me. Stay on this earth until the time comes that you are stronger. Stay here and live, love, laugh, but remember Me as always. When you have shown me that you can do all of those things, I will call you, and at once you shall return to Me._

Susan's heart, still grief-stricken and confused, fail to truly comprehend those words, "Aslan, what do you mean?" she asked.

No reply was returned. Susan swallowed and suddenly she remembered all the times she had in Narnia. Aslan knew she understood. She just had to believe.

Susan stood up and looked to the biscuits in the oven. Another wave of calm passed over her, and her tears ceased completely to run. Then, her younger brother's voice sounded clearly in her ears, and her heart listened.

_I'll always love you, Susan._

And with that, Susan knew her eyes and heart had been opened, renewed and blessed in a way she could never explain. She knew, slowly, she _will_ live. She _will_ love. She _will_ laugh. All in the memory of her brothers and sister, and of the Great Lion Himself. Susan will present to Aslan, and to her siblings above, and to herself the _true_ Queen Susan the Gentle of the Radiant Southern Sun, monarch Narnia.

*******

_And sure enough in Aslan's Country, the Eastern Ocean did glisten,_

_The Western Wood did again become great_

_The Northern Sky did clear the way_

_For the Radiant Southern Sun as she rose again_

_All as the Four Powerful Thrones were filled_

_All under the Name of the Great Lion_

_Aslan_

*******

**A/N:** Ok, so that ends it. I'm honored if you reached to read this far. Writing this was just some 'impulse' that I couldn't let to pass me by. I hope you liked it nonetheless :)

Thanks all you readers and reviewers!

_~vrangr_


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